Loneliness never was happiness...

It's amazing how real and seemingly important the desires can be to find someone to be with. Although there are so many who cherish, or at least act as though they cherish, the time of being single, it's my confident hunch that theirs is yet a longing and unsettled position, and one just as ready to settle down and commit as that of their so-called desperate associates. All that is needed in my mind is an understanding of how to do it and what it can be like. I'll venture to say that no one observes true love, ever, without a spark of desire beginning within themselves to enjoy the same. Yes, there are those who've had bad experiences and may cringe or scoff, but those reactions aren't rooted in true disgust, but jealousy or envy.

So here I am. My day has been a little miserable because every other thought has been about just how single I am. My mouth remained closed and thoughts personal as I fear talking to others about this seems more like complaining self-pity than the honest attempt to figure some things out. I realized today how little people like to pity others... even when the plight of another is horrendous, the time to mourn and pity in sympathy is short-lived and quickly succeeded by an attempt to fix it. It should hardly be any other way, but it is certainly frustrating for the actual victim. But my situation is hardly horrendous, but merely unfortunate and not even bad compared to what some are even now dealing with. But this IS me and my concern is the biggest thing I'm dealing with right now.

I don't understand girls. It would be presumptuous and ludicrous to claim that I did, but I wish that there were a better way to discern how to interact, attract and otherwise just understand them. I always think about this picture whenever I consider this topic.Some may think it ridiculous but I think it's true to life.

Now it seems like I'm 3rd string technician called last resort for lack of options... inexperienced enough to probably always try the same nob and consistently adjusting the wrong dials and never even realizing if the light ever flickers on or off (Forgive the analogy). Did you follow that?

In english it basically means that I don't know how to attract the girls that I want, or if I am already attracting them enough and I just don't know it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining that there isn't anyone to date.. but the key is that I don't ever seem to be able to find girls that are attracted to me where the feelings are reciprocated. If I didn't have the guideline of attraction before asking a girl out, I don't even know where I would begin... miss unsuspecting laptop sitting over here to my left maybe... or maybe French fry girl right up here in front of me... or... well you get the idea. I could be with them. We might get along great. I could feign some affection maybe... or not. But it seems the clarion call of the good people of the world that beauty is on the inside, and while I agree, I really find it hard to believe there are no girls that I am attracted to with beauty on the inside.

Whatever... Im tired of writing about this, and lessening the opinions of those around me of the type of person I am. I'm going to head on back to figuring out that darn machine...