Finding Her...

I have no idea how long it will take before I find the girl who will be with me for... ever. This is something that I can't really talk to almost anyone about, mostly just a perfect blog topic. For instance, talking to my family about it devolves back into one topic; how I need to be better at dating. Yes, it's true, I realize that if I were more outgoing than I would meet more girls and therefore have a greater likelihood of finder her. But I can only handle talking about how much of a social misfit for so long... then it just gets old. Conversely, if I talk to practically anyone other than my family about it, it devolves into something like, "You're young! Why are you worried about getting married now?" Valid to an extent, but still something I can only take so much of.

So here I am, trying like crazy to involve myself in any activity that I can find, and finding that it really is not up to me as much as I would like. It seems that whether I am feeling confident enough to talk to anyone or not, the only girls that have current;y chosen to give me attention are the ones that I am not attracted to. Should I just become attracted to a wider range of girls? Are you kidding? Can you even do that? I am pretty sure no. Now this could very well sound ridiculous, and in my own mind all i see is some guy in my head who thinks that he deserves the best looking models of the earth and nothing less... no... that is definitely not me. There are a lot of girls that I find attractive.

I don't even know why I've written this... whether or not I am talking to someone else it seems to come back to those same conclusions. Sometimes I guess it is just something I have to do... thinking on paper. Or virtual paper.